Do you ever do something completely mundane, like untangling your earphones to listen to Sleeping At Last, sitting on a kiddy chair just waiting— or ever finally had something happen that’s you’ve been waiting for, for like, ever, and then suddenly you realize that this is happening. It’s happening right now and there’s will be no moment in your lifetime that will exactly be like May 19, 2019, 10:41 am and you get to live in this moment and you won’t get that chance again for this one moment, so it’s like the world freezes and it’s time, you, and a pair of still tangled earphones?
No? Just me?
As I’ve mentioned, it’s been me for a while now. Why philosophical thoughts come at all the wrong times I don’t know. XD But it does anyway- which, uh, isn’t helpful when you’re screaming internally at the 2 hour mark of Endgame (can’t seem to shut up about that, can I) or getting ready to play the last hymn at church or even just… sitting. Doing nothing. Like I am right now. It’s kinda weird to be this conscious of the fact that life is happening. Kinda cool too. Good reminder that there’s more to this life. Always more.
Just thought that was cool, ahem. Now for the boring part where it gets personal… (which I still don’t know why I bother because isn’t talking about one’s self selfish and therefore pointless?)
School is giving me a headache. I can’t wait for summer. Probably conflicting to this fact is the other fact that I’m fascinated with what I learn. Just ‘cause math and I don’t see eye to eye doesn’t mean I can’t be somewhat interested in it, so. 😛 Like someone said, knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Be evil. Be the kind of person HYDRA would want to assassinate. *nodnod*
I hope you guys know better than to listen to me for advice, by the way.
I’ve kinda been at a standstill writing wise, after NaNo. It’s Short Story Month or something, so I was planning to join that, but per norm, I didn’t. I will say there’s a lot of ideas floating around. And one in particular is making me pretty giddy. But that’s it. Also the day I come up with something that’s not a work in progress and actually is good will probably be the day I wear pink. Which isn’t happening at all. Nevertheless, I suppose a snippet or two is fine. 😉
We’re closer yet farther from the stars than anyone’s ever been before.-you’ll find out if I finish it
One. Two. Three. Four.-ditto
I’m not sure what else to say. That as contradictory as being painfully aware of the present, I’m equally painfully aware of the future? That life is moving at a crazy fast past and I have no clue how to keep up? SOMEONE GET HELLLP AND BY HELP I MEAN SOMEONE MAKE SURE LOKI IS ALIVEEE OR MY HOMEWORK IS FINISHED FOR ME THAT WOULD BE NICE TO WHY AM I SHOUTING
So yeah, there’s that.
But then it’s other things that. Like a sunrise on a Monday morning, or one really long video call, or something you’ve prayed for, waited for, but never really thought would happen and it does, and you’re just all there kinda shook because error: jo.exe has stopped working. Restart when ready.
It’s funny to see how God can work in a mess of a life like mine. Not that funny is the right word, but I can’t think of any others. I know He does though. I know that there’s a grace I receive which I 100% don’t deserve and then some, that despite all the hard stuff I’m still grinning like a fool and that’s definitely not from me, that there’s almost too many blessings. Isn’t that weird. Too many. Can there be too many good things from the Maker of everything good? And yet I feel like there is. Weird. Kinda overwhelming if you think about it too much. Which I either don’t or do, depending on what it is o’clock.
Captain Marvel thrilled me. Endgame killed me. Algebra buried me. Family made me smile. I found my MP3 in the car. More specifically in the back seat. What it was doing there I do not know.
But it was Monday and I forgot how to laugh and it took a 2 hour car ride and getting lost to relearn now.
And then, well, I guess the whole point of this was that every day has its own struggles and its own blessings.
So yeah. Today has been okay.